Countdown!

We are officially halfway through this mess. In exactly 4 weeks I'll be driving to Texas to see him. In 4 weeks and one day I'll be scanning crowds trying to glimps him!

These past 4 weeks have definately been interesting. The first week was relatively easy on me. I did miss him- I just found out I was pregnant, I had hardly any information about what he was going to be doing and it was just plain stressful. But Emmaline was really the one that had the hard time. For the first week she cried at everything and wanted to be held a lot more often.

The second week was probably the hardest. I got a cold starting with a sore throat and moving to a stuffy nose that didn't ease up for two and a half weeks. Emmaline got over her crying relatively quickly but just in time for me to cry buckets at even the thought of my husband. Emmaline has gotten good at asking 'sad?' every time she sees tears. The combination of missing Matt terribly, pregnancy stress, and the cold made sleeping a nightmare. I had very vivid dreams, tossed and turned then spent the next day trying to sleep in and amongst the tears.

Week three got significantly better. Although my nose was still stuffed up and sleeping was difficult my emotions sort of evened out and I was able to function better on a daily basis.

Week four was actually really good. My cold was officially gone, I think I cried only a handful of times and not bawling but just tears. Emmaline started talking about Matt and pointing out men she thinks could be dad. I think this is a good sign of her continuing to process and I'm glad she remembers him.

This week, halfway over already, has been good. Being exhausted from the pregnancy makes it easier to sleep at night and I've been able to pretend that Matt is just getting home late and I'm going to bed before he gets home or that he had to get off to work early so I missed him getting up.

Who knows what the next 4 weeks are going to be like? Stay tuned...